Wake up call--Wake up when you wake up!

Raising the mold stained blinds I peeked out the 2nd floor window, sure enough, we were surrounded. They were flooding in from every corner.

I couldn't help but scowl at Mr. Quibbles the bear. "No thanks to your escapade with the lights, we now have at least a couple hundred undead cadavers pounding on the front door!"

Mr. Quibbles' fur raised on the back of his neck and his button eyes started to flare open. "It wasn't my fault! I tripped! Besides, we fortified the garage entrance on the first floor, there is no way they could ever get thr..."

A loud crashing boom echoed from the floor beneath us which was promptly followed by the mindless moaning of a zombie horde.

"You were saying?..."

We were running out of time.

Despite our dire circumstances I couldn't help but notice an ever distant noise, it sounded like... some kind of beeping. I couldn't quite make it out. Never mind I thought, we've got serious issues at hand! Any minute now the second floor of the Faulty Towers hotel was going to be swarming with undead!

"Well, I'm up for suggestions." Mr. Quibbles sarcastically flung his arms in the air.

"Did you remember the spare flux capacitor?" I asked.

"I may be a stuffed animal but I'm not that daft! Of course I brought it!" Mr. Quibbles reached in his zipper pouch and pulled out a pulsating flux capacitor along with a small patch of white fluffy stuffing and a half eaten blueberry muffin.

I glanced at the flux capacitor in Mr. Quibbles paw and quickly analyzed the situation. "It seems as though we've run out of options; we have no choice... plug me in."
Mr. Quibbles quickly snapped the device into place in the back of my neck while whistling the theme song from 007 and instantly the dark room was illuminated with a bright blue hue. The very fabric of time began to shake and tremble, the plaster on the walls instantly rend asunder and it seemed for a moment that the entire building would crumble to the ground in the chaos. In a brilliant transformation I had become... Morgoth! Destroyer of worlds and conqueror of zombie hordes!

Again, I heard the incessant beeping in the back of my mind! "It must be a side effect of the transformation I reasoned."

With my 20 ft. battle-hammer in hand I mercilessly began thrashing the countless undead. 10 at a time, 20 at a time, each swing of the battle-hammer sent throngs of zombie remains in the air.

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

"What is that wretched beeping!?!?!" I asked.

Mr. Quibbles opened his mouth to respond but was suddenly struck dumb and could only point
behind me.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

Mr. Quibbles just stood there in shock, his finger still pointing.

The air was suddenly tainted with the most foul smelling stench which proceeded an ear splitting scream. The glass of each surrounding building and car instantly shattered.

There above us loomed the largest abomination I had eve... BEEP BEEP BEEP!...

Whoa! OK... I'm awake, I'm awake.

If you're anything like me, getting up on time has never been easy (especially when I am in the middle of a sweet dream). I would usually slither out of bed 20 minutes after my alarm goes off and if I didn't head straight for the shower I would likely fall asleep again and wake up an hour later without even realizing what had happened. I would not categorize myself as a morning person.

In fact, among my list of "Things I want to improve" getting to bed and waking up on time was/is in my top 10 (along with the elimination of French as an official language and the deportation of rude people to Quebec).

So seeing as how we live in the information age I ran a couple searches on Google, like ya' do. And surprisingly It didn't come up with much. Mostly just advertisements on new alarm systems or medication (I've tried multiple alarms to no avail and I'm not about to stick some strange concoction in my system) so I was forced to find other sources of information.

You may be familiar with the example of the Pavlov's Dog Experiment (As a side note, I don't condone the inhumane treatment that he put the animals through). Pavlov studied the "conditional reflex" of dog's with a number of stimuli, most notably with bells and food. He would ring a bell and then bring in the dog's food. He continued this process for days at a time until the dog's began to salivate at the noise of the bell even before seeing or smelling any food. They had been conditioned to expect food whenever they heard the bell. I've used this example for many discussions on conditioned theory in school and it occurred to me that many aspects of our sleep and wake routine are conditioned responses.

"How to Get Up Right Away When Your Alarm Goes Off" By Steve Palvina is an article that discusses a process to change your wake up routines conditional reflexes (the only article worth reading that I could find). And as I wake up around 5:30 each morning for my exercise and weight training routine I figured getting this aspect of my life in check sooner rather than later would be a good thing.

You know that debate you have within your mind immediately after you wake up? "Just 5 more minutes, I can sleep another 5 minutes" (Funny how those 5 minutes inevitably turn into 30 or more), "It's so cold outside, I'm just going to stay in my warm bed", "Ok, I'll get up on 3, ready... 1, 2, ZZzzzzzz.." It would seem that the moment I woke up I would begin to argue the point in my own mind simply because I had conditioned myself to do so upon waking up. It has been said that it takes 6 weeks to form a habit, so surely many years of sleeping is long enough to form a conditioned response.

Steve Palvina said: "First, let’s consider the way most people tackle this problem — what I consider the wrong way. The wrong way is to try using your conscious willpower to get yourself out of bed each morning. That might work every once in a while, but let’s face it — you’re not always going to be thinking straight the moment your alarm goes off. Your may experience what I call the fog of brain. The decisions you make in that state won’t necessarily be the ones you’d make when you’re fully conscious and alert. You can’t really trust yourself… nor should you."

"If you use this approach, you’re likely to fall into a trap. You decide to get up at a certain time in advance, but then you undo that decision when the alarm goes off. At 10pm you decide it would be a good idea to get up at 5am. But at 5am you decide it would be a better idea to get up at 8am. But let’s face it — you know the 10pm decision is the one you really want implemented… if only you could get your 5am self to go along with it."

So the problem is not a matter of discipline? Is that what your getting at? Well, yes and no... Willpower alone may be of no more use to you in the morning than it is to a wasted trapeze artist. Research has shown that people exhibit the same behavior and symptoms as a drunkard in their first moments of waking up. Have you ever tried reasoning with a drunk person? Well what about reasoning with a drunk person when that person is you? Odds are it won't work.

So do you need willpower and discipline? YES! You need them when you are awake and conscious! Use your conscious mind when you are wide awake to create a new set of conditioned responses. And how do you accomplish this?

PRACTICE... Practice makes perfect.

Practicing your sleep routine is the same as when you actually do go to sleep (And don't skip any of the steps either, otherwise your subconscious won't take control when the time is right).

You will want to do everything the same as if you were actually going to bed. In my case I shut the blinds, turn the lights off, turn off any music or noise, brush and floss my teeth, wash my face, make sure my alarm is set for the correct time, read for a few minutes before going to bed and then crash.

So in practicing I would actually repeat those steps exactly the same as if I really were going to sleep with a few exceptions:

• Practice during the day when you are awake.


• Pretend it is early in the morning.


• Set the alarm to go off in 2-3 minutes.

After going through my normal routine I would then lay down in my bed with my eyes closed and wait 2-3 minutes for my alarm to go off. As soon as the alarm goes off sit up, put your legs off the side of the bed, raise your arms and stretch as far as you can and take a deep breath, hold that breath for 5 seconds and exhale then immediately spring out of bed and turn the alarm off.

Every time you run through a practice session think in your mind, "When the alarm goes off get up immediately", "When the alarm goes off get up immediately", "When the alarm goes off get up immediately".

What then?

Practice again! Do this routine around 10 times, you want this routine to become a conditioned response so it may take a week or so at 10 times each day before your subconscious takes complete control, but eventually you will wake up the moment your alarm goes off and there wont even be a debate in your mind, it will just happen. You should be able to go through the entire routine enough times that you wont have to think about what steps to do next.

Sounds crazy huh? Well if it works then isn't it worth trying?

I just started this "re-conditioning" so I can't fully attest to it's effectiveness but so far it has become a lot easier to wake up the moment the alarm goes off. I will keep you updated on my progress. If anyone else starts this process please feel free to comment so we know how well it works for you.

"Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?
"I think so Brain, but burlap chafes me so..."

Every good story needs a good villain (and the occasional mindless lackey for good measure). Would Luke Skywalker ever had
reached his potential without Darth Vader's opposing influence?
Would Spiderman be anything more than a soap opera with webbing had the likes of Venom, the Green Goblin, or Octavius not slithered on the scene? The Lord of the Rings would have been mundane at best without Sauron's lust for power, Gollum's deceitful tactics or Saruman's host of Urukai challenging the fellowship at every turn. Even Jerry Seinfeld is beset by Newman, the arch nemesis postal worker who's sole ambition is Jerry's downfall. One cannot escape the simple truth that villains of all shapes and sizes add a welcome addition to any epic story.

There are so many good epic stories to be told, and after reading many over the early summer I came to the conclusion that I should write my own! Why not? I've always enjoyed a good fantasy book, a sci-fi conflict in space, or the occasional steam-punk pirate adventure (actually I've never read a "good" steam-punk setting book, maybe I should write one of those as well). However, one of the biggest challenges in writing a story of epic proportions is creatively designing the villain.

You might think, "That's easy! Just toss in an evil individual or entity who's utterly bent on the destruction of all life." Here is my dilemma... Villains are not born evil. through the course of their life they made the decision to become evil. But what drove them to that decision? There is a lot of back story and emotion which corrupts the villain.

I've been reading up on villain creation and theory using a number of resources like http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Villain or http://www.giantitp.com/articles/rTKEivnsYuZrh94H1Sn.html to cite a few, and so far so good.

I must say, the creation of my own world, lore, and characters has been a really fun experience. There is a lot more that goes into writing a novel than I initially anticipated. In fact, I've spent more time planning the book (story line, plot ideas, geography, what makes the world go round, etc) than I have spent actually writing the book.

Alfred Hitchcock said: "In the old days villains had moustaches and kicked the dog. Audiences are smarter today. They don't want their villain to be thrown at them with green limelight on his face. They want an ordinary human being with failings."

The villain in my story is all the more difficult to portray because he is so effective at appearing kind and good natured, a master of deceit born of necessity. But he is still just a man, there was a time when he cared for others and put the interest of his friends and family above those of himself. An interesting view on the possibilities of human behavior and potential.

I suppose I find the creation of a good natured protagonist more within my scope of understanding as I can relate to those emotions. But none the less, contemplating the menacing mindset of an Arch-Villain has been a lot of fun. :)

"Cancel the kitchen scraps for lepers and orphans... no more merciful beheadings.... and cancel Christmas" -Robin Hood, Prince of Theives

ϝrΛtΣrηitϒ LifΣ

So I joined a fraternity...

That sounds like a good opening line for a book, or maybe a country song. But ya, I joined a frat at the U of U, Sigma Gamma Chi (ΣγΧ). For more information on fraternities or sororities and their origins I would suggest wikipedia as a good source of information http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fraternity (Even most frat/soro members don't know it's history).

Fraternities and Sororities often get a bad rep and rightly so, some students use them as an excuse to get as sloshed as a dutch pig and don't even recall the last 12 hours of their life. But there are exceptions to the rule.

For those looking to fill a social void, or in my case compliment my current group of friends, a fraternity or sorority is an excellent choice. Sigma Gamma Chi (ΣγΧ) is an LDS fraternity at the U of U with 10 "Chapters" each chapter is a group of guys, about 30-40 per chapter, who all share a unique personality so each chapter is different in it's own right. The sororities have the same organization. Some chapters focus on a lot of sports and road trips, some on indoor activities and movie nights, others are well balanced with a mix of various activities. All of the fraternity chapters have one primary goal however and that is girls! (But of course!) Each chapter will pair off with other chapters from the campus sororities for different activities. It's a great way to meet lots of people.

Some of the other activities we do are ultimate frisby, night time ultimate frisby with glow in the dark frisbies, extreme pinewood derby (pinewood derby with rockets attached to the cars), border patrol, a game where you go to a park and split into groups called "families" which then attempt to cross the border (get to the other side of the park) without being tagged by the border patrol (a team of people with squirt guns), people watching, liar liar, and camping trips just to name a few. And of course everyones favorite..."Catch a cougar". In catch a cougar your entire chapter goes down to BYU and knocks on doors until everyone finds a date for that night. Good times!

If you are a university student or just want to hang out with other university students Sigma Gamma Chi (ΣγΧ) is an excellent option.

...Unless you prefer solitude, in which case I hear there is a monk monastery in Evanston Wyoming.

A new beginning!

Well, it's that time of year again. The new fall semester just started this week, and with it comes all of the hectic splendor befitting all academic achievers. If you don't think school can be stressful, tell that to the girl outside my interpersonal communications class who passed out on her first day. I suppose seeing an ambulance and/or fire truck on campus has become common place as of late.

My books this semester surprisingly didn't cost the usual $400-$500 either, a fact which has me writhing in pain I assure you. An entire weeks discourse could be dedicated to the overpricing of college text books. One could liken our efforts to stop the corporate madness to a legion of Oompa Loompas wielding frozen waffles in an attempt to stop an oncoming train. It can't be done!

I picked up my bundle of text books at our campus bookstore from a nice old lady who seemed oblivious to her surroundings, (why do old people so often smell of arsenic and cabbage?) I then observed that my dance book was significantly larger than all my other text books (yes I am taking a dance class this semester, back off!) I mean honestly, do the collective genius minds of our nation know more about dance than Anatomy or Psychology? Then again, who am I to challenge the curriculum?

Overall I am looking forward to this semester. I've got some good professors and as intended I hope to learn a lot over the next few months.

Yesterday was also my birthday, a perfect time to reflect on my accomplishments (or lack thereof) from the last year and to make new goals for the upcoming year. I've made a goal to continue my weight training and running routine to lose my final 20 lbs. And for those of you with doubts, a healthy diet and running is an excellent way to lose weight. With some determination and a little boost of will power I've already managed to lose 20lbs in a rather short time. It's not as hard as you think.

I think it wise to frequently analyze your life and set new goals. Many of us seem to play the part of lemmings floating about aimlessly in the sea of life waiting to be showered with meaning and happiness. If you have a worthwhile goal and you go for it life becomes so much more enjoyable.

Any who,

I hope to use this blog as a place for creative ideas, constructive criticism, unique observations, intelligent babble, and as a place to speak my mind. If you wish to comment on anything I welcome the input, after all, This is the "Consortium" of casual so like minded discussions are encouraged.

Look for more to come in the near future!

Michael